Field Dressing
by IronicVeghead
Summary: In dire times, creativity can save the day! And piss of an injured archer. In which Artemis is shot, Robin has an idea, and Wally can't find any freaking gauze. Spitfire.


Hello Everyone!

I know I have been gone forever. I graduated from nursing school and am now working full time as an RN. The fandom has dwindled and working 8-5 doesn't give me the long stretches of time I used to have (in between study sessions) that I used to really delve into a story. I'm really hoping to get back into writing, but for now I'll start with this little muncher. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

" _Okay-Okay-Okay. We need, um, gauze?"_

This is _so_ not how the night was supposed to go.

But in hindsight, it was bound to happen eventually.

" _I'll get the bioship!_ "

They had planned for a night in. The two were going to attempt to make a pizza from scratch, would inevitably burn and/or somehow destroy the kitchen, and end up ordering delivery.

They were going to each pick out a movie to watch that the other hadn't seen, and would rag on each other's choices relentlessly even if they enjoyed watching it.

" _I'll contact the League,"_

" _Gauze?!"_

Wally was probably going to sneak his arm around her shoulder around the half hour mark of the first movie, and because he has absolutely no patience _whatsoever_ , would likely be kissing her neck within five minutes of succeeding.

Artemis would likely pretend to be disinterested in his attempt to give her a hickey until he notices she wasn't paying attention to him. And after he properly scowled and pouted about it she would climb in his lap and remind him why they were so good together.

" _I got the man responsible,"_

" _Wow, Supey, hope he didn't need that arm,"_

" _...He ran,"_

The session would end when they were both exhausted from not getting enough oxygen. Artemis would curl into his warm form and they would both smile at each other with red cheeks. Wally would draw lazy designs into the smooth skin of her thigh since he can't keep his hands still. Artemis likely would pretend to be interested in the supernatural movie she picked out, spurring the redhead into a scientific debate on the inaccuracies of the film.

" _DOES ANYONE HAVE GAUZE?!"_

" _Shut UP West! I'm shot not deaf!"_

However, instead of their cozy night in. The two lovers get called away on a mission to Qurac in order to gather intel on the unusual movements of Vlatavan troops in the area. Batman summarizes that the troops spotted have not been listed with the Vlatavan military and Queen Perdita would like a quiet investigation into their presence.

Keyword: Quiet

Wally had joked as they had boarded the plane that 'quiet' would probably end similarly to their usual track record of 'covert' missions.

He would be correct.

"I think I have something that can help!" Robin pulled a small object out of his utility belt.

Artemis writhed beneath Wally's weight as she saw what the bird was holding "Is that a fucking TAMPON?"

"QUIT MOVING! I'M TRYING TO APPLY PRESSURE BECAUSE NO ONE HAS ANY FREAKING GAUZE" Wally yelled, frantically trying to contain the blood still languidly spilling between his gloves.

"You are NOT putting that in me!" Artemis hissed between clenched teeth, her nails digging into the spandex of Wally's suit.

"ARTEMIS! CAN YOU JUST - EINSTEIN JUST STAY STILL" Wally continued yelling, "AND ROB- WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THAT ROB?!"

Artemis immediately started shouting, "DON'T YOU DARE ANSWER THAT- I DON'T WANT TO KNOW"

"Tampons are known to be effective field dressings," Robin explained as he knelt down beside the archer, offensive object in hand, "Artemis are you CRYING?" His voice strained despite the attempt at humor.

The blonde gave him full view of her teeth, "I'M IN SOME SERIOUS FUCKING PAIN AND YOU WANT TO STICK A TAMPON IN MY BULLET WOUND. YES I'M FUCKING CRYING"

"CAN YOU _PLEASE_ STAY STILL I AM _TRYING_ TO SAVE YOUR LIFE,"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" Artemis screamed up at the speedster, tears streaming back into her hair from her position on the ground. Robin took the opportunity of their spat and swatted Wally's hands away while inserting the tampon into Artemis's wound. Wally immediately slapped his hands back over the bullet wound to continue applying pressure, "NO! OH MY GOD ROBIN THAT IS DISGUSTING HOW COULD YOU I HATE YOU- I HATE ALL OF YOU- I HATE-"

"Guys!" Superboy yelled, catching their attention as he, Kaldur, and M'gann descended in the bioship, "We have a stretcher ready,"

"AND PADS? PANTYLINERS?" Artemis exclaimed, "READY TO DRESS MY BULLET WOUND UP WITH ALL THE BEST ABSORBENT GYNECOLOGICAL PRODUCTS I BET,"

"STAY DOWN WOMAN!" Wally pleaded, "SUPEY, GAUZE?"

"SHUT UP ABOUT THE FUCKING GAUZE, WALLACE,"

The infirmary was eerily quiet. The heart monitor turned to low as the two sat in the quiet together. Empty pizza boxes littered the floor by Artemis's bed.

Wally had his chair pulled up flush against her mattress, a hand leisurely running his fingers through Artemis's hair, "Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked tentatively.

"How I feel about the fact that a womanly product probably nudged my kidney? Or how I feel about the fact that you haven't left my side since I woke up from surgery?" She inquired, reaching out to lay her hand lightly on his knee, mindful of her IV line.

The speedster pursed his lips, "Both? Either?" He shrugged, "You terrify me Babe,"

"How so?" She asked, her eyes half lidded from exhaustion.

"I spend the day thinking about how I'm going to have you in my arms tonight, and instead of getting to cuddle I get to try to keep you from bleeding out in a foreign country," Wally cupped the side of her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb, "It's a pretty drastic difference in my plans for the evening,"

"Well," Artemis mused, taking his hand and kissing his palm, "Thanks for holding my guts in. I'm glad we'll get another chance to eat pizza and makeout,"

"Me too," Wally nodded, smiling softly, "And don't worry, I'll definitely have gauze next time. I'll be prepared for all your bleeding needs,"

"I don't like the way you phrased that, but I guess I appreciate it," Artemis chuckled.

There was a lull in the moment, the heart monitor beeping softly behind them.

"You still wanna make out?" Wally offered.

Artemis waited a beat to answer, smirking "Yeah. Come over here West,"

* * *

Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading! Short, a little silly and a little sweet was the easiest place to start trying to write again.

Hopefully you'll read more from me soon!

Love, Veg


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